I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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