Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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