so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
