they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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