I want to make a zoo with you.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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