You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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