Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
