We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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