Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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