So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
