I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
