I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
