Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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