do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
