i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
