I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
