Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
