whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
