maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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