i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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