nutella sex= disaster
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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