So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
