Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize
