he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
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