Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
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