I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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