Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
