hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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