absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
