I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
