Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
