Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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