margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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