i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
