this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Come share oat with me in your robe
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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