just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
