I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I just want to make out with him forever
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
