Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
