I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Randomize
