1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
