We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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