Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
