she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
