never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
You can't just leave with hair like that
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
