Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
