UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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