And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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