Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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