we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
