someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
