i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
