Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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